What is this? Dirty Close-Up what? Let me explain.
My first encounter with the people that work behind the scenes in the entertainment business was almost twenty years ago, and to this day I still think that their stories and experiences are usually more interesting than the PR spin that any actor would reveal. On most shoots I hear the most insane stories about Hollywood in the location scout van, or at the craft service table and I always wanted to give these below the line types a place to share a few. The Dirty Close-Up interview is just that. I am starting them as written interviews and will be posting video interviews soon, both give a behind the scenes look at the personalities and quirky individuality that make up a call sheet on any film or television shoot. Oh yeah, in film slang a “dirty close-up” is a close up shot of an actor with a little bit of the back of the actor they are talking to in the shot…but I digress.
Meet Thomas (TK) Keith, my good friend who works as a 1st Assistant Director and 2nd Assistant Director on many of the projects I art direct. TK works hard, keeps his cool and from the moment I met him shared great tales from Van Halen music videos, the Seinfeld sitcom and multiple sightings of the Virgin Mary, so of course, he is my first Dirty Close-Up interview. Today we talk about the ridiculous “Hot For Teacher” video that was on MTV every 15 minutes when I was in high school.
GK: So, for everyone who doesn’t know what an AD is, or even an Assistant Director give them a description.
TK: In a very simple description, the 1st A.D. makes the schedule and runs the set with the director. The 2nd A.D. communicates with the crew and cast to help accomplish the days work. All A.D.’s get a lot of help from every department. Each department head acts as it’s own assistant director.
GK: I know you have done some really cool shoots over the years, I think I was most excited to hear about the Van Halen ‘Hot For Teacher’ video shoot. Tell me about Waldo, the crappy lip-synching, teaching the Van Halen brothers to dance, the strippers and the endless guitar solo table in the library.
Here’s the Wikipedia about the video.
TK: No one could have taught Van Halen to perform a choreographed dance. They were terrible but they worked at it for hours. That scene wasn’t part of the original video. It was added on after the original four day schedule, and there was no energy left from anyone.
Click the original production report to watch the 'Hot For Teacher' video
GK: What about those teachers, were they actual strippers?
TK: Those “teachers” dancers were models and not strippers. They were very excited about being in the video, and got very pumped up by all the screaming 13 year old boys.
TK (continued): The kids that played the band members, at a younger age, turned cocky fast. At one point, David Lee Roth came up and told me to get the kids out of their motor home. He said, “They won’t leave and they’re drinking all our booze.”
During prep I walked in on a meeting with the director and David Lee Roth; David pointed at me and said, “Waldo”. I didn’t think about it again until the first day on the set, the 1st A.D. told me David (Lee Roth) wanted to use my glasses on the kid playing Waldo.
TK and his "Waldo" glasses
GK: Was Hot For Teacher a multi million-dollar shoot or down and dirty?
TK: I wish I had held on to the budget. It wasn’t much money at the time. We only had one motor home. Everyone else (makeup, hair, etc) set up in classrooms at John Marshall High School. We had just one grip/camera truck and the art department had two trucks. I don’t think there was video assist at that time. It was unusual to have a four day schedule for a music video. I remember some of the crew were smoking pot at the end of the first (15 hour) day. I walked past them and reminded them the call time for the next day was in eight hours.
I remember we damaged the hot rod car on day one. One of the kids kicked a dent in the door as he was climbing in. On another day, one Van Halen member made a disparaging remark about one of the make up departments sexual orientation. This was September 1984. Their crew almost walked out.
GK: I saw this video a million times when I was in high school, Van Halen seemed so cool, watching it again it is such a campy cartoon, but your take on it makes it cool again (in a campy 80’s video kinda way). I guess the only thing left to ask is what about drugs, is that something look the other way for just to get the shoot done? And before we move on to other gigs, tell me about tantrums, fits, breakdowns and insane demands?
TK: One of the crew on the “Hot For Teacher” video was in charge of crew drugs, from what I heard. The band only asked for a couple of bottles of Jack Daniels and a case of malt liquor in the tall cans.
I’ve had one time when a well-known actor broke down in tears about lunch. Another actor called me at the production office phone to cuss me out and then hang up. He called and hung up seven times. He was drunk and never said a word about it the next day on the set. A famous director yelled at me about lunch not being ordered. I’ve discovered that lot of the anxiety on a set usually revolves around low blood sugar!
Here's page 2 of the production report! Thanks TK.
Later this week TK tells me about working on the Seinfeld sitcom and his never ending encounters with the Virgin Mary!
I just looked at last minute, impulsive-waste of money-do I really need to fly to Boston for the weekend-it is fucking cold there-it is warm here-I see these people every day here in Los Angeles do I really need to fly to the east coast to see their show, plane tickets on JetBlue.com. The price, $325.00 each way from Burbank to Boston.
So, I am not going, and yes it was impulsive and I also have a ton of work to do here in LA, but it would have been fun to see the amazing Figgs, American Hi-Fi , Letters to Cleo and Billy Janovitz. Mike, Kay and the kids ae leaving tomorrow morning and I guess I am just a bit jealous and wanting to get out of town for a minute before my next show starts on Monday.
Instead I will stare at this poster and marvel at the guitar snowflakes.
Great charity, even better show!
I love acupuncture-it helps with so many ailments, emotions, aches and pains.
I also love Los Angeles because we are always first to try anything that will make you feel your best.
That’s why I think this new acupuncturist in my neighborhood will make a killing.
There are so many losers that will benefit from curing ailment #3. If it really works we may soon see freeway drivers using blinkers, people putting their cell phones down on the checkout line and Ed Hardy stores going out of business.
Corner of Moorpark and Tujunga in case you're interested...
The little girl you hear singing on this free MP3 download is Valentina Santiago, my 6 year old friend. I saw Valentina in the Nutcracker last month, played Santa at her house a few days ago and have known her way before she knew how to sing. (Back to the Santa thing for a second-Valentina’s parents, Joey and Linda had a Xmas eve party this year and I showed up to play Santa. Everything was going great for the 60 seconds I was there until Valentina decided to start screaming “it’s Gaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrryyyyyy” and then all 15 kids figured it out and I ran out the door.)
Valentina’s dad is my friend Joey Santiago…the guitarist from the Pixies. His new band, with David Lovering (drummer in Pixies) is called Everybody. The music is incredible, but I’m not sure when you’ll get to hear it. In the meantime if you give them your email address at everybodytheband.com they will send you a free MP3 of David, Joey and Valentina performing “Snow In Los Angeles”.
It is the best song I have heard all year.
Snow In Los Angeles, a new holiday classic.
Oh, and one final thing. When I told Joey that I walked out during the ceremony at my wedding to “Here Comes Your Man” he reminded me that the song is about a bum.
This is a presentation tape I shot way back in 2005. I had the idea after an emotional and drunken game of Celebrity at Mike and Kay’s house a few months before after Thanksgiving dinner.
We pulled together an amazing crew and cast. My friend Richard Valenzuela directed, Kaylyn Thornal edited and the incredible Darren Rydstrom was the cinematographer. Everything seemed perfect. Janet and I had just finished the Lisa Loeb show presentation tape, we had a new agent and, well, what could go wrong? After VH1 didn’t pick up the Lisa pilot, we ended up selling the it to E! and TV Land picked up Celebrity. One, two punch. A budget was made, studios were scouted and our deals were made. And then it just sat there. Forever.
Eventually all the executives at TV Land moved on to new jobs and we got the project back…and nothing happened.
We pitched it to over two dozen places and came close a few more times. 36 months later I had just assumed it would end up being a dusty dvd on my bookshelf. Until this week. Fingers crossed-there may be some life in this little baby yet.
Sad fact: Lisa Loeb was supposed to be a player but her car was stuck in her garage that night. A friend was at her house earlier in the day, asked to leave their car in the driveway to visit another friend and well, that ended that. Car stuck in garage.
If you are looking to liven up your next birthday party get your guests going with some drag queen bingo.
Lisa Loeb’s birthday party had it all, a magician, a caricature artist, pink cake, DJ Conroy and a big drag queen yelling O-69! I don’t think I have ever been so competitive, and although I love Justine very much I would sweat with envy seeing her tap her cards with pink ink delight.
For the record I didn’t win anything but I am looking for a bingo hall here in Los Angeles to sharpen my skills.
Here’s me losing.
Here is Lisa cheering on some winner. I think he cheated.
Today at two o’clock Kay will walk through the front door of her house after four months of being on tour with Hannah Montana.
Goodbye tour bus, 20,000 seat arenas, screaming teenagers, stage makeup, skateboarding backstage, per diems and fancy hotel rooms.
Hello suburbs, parent teacher conferences and (I’m sure) the skateboard.
Welcome home, we missed you.
There are some (many) stereotypes about Los Angeles that are true.
Don’t get me wrong, I love it here and defend LA the same way I used to defend New York City to anyone who tried to talk shit (pre Giuliani), but a stereotype is a stereotype. This week “people can’t drive in Los Angeles in the rain” holds true. Traffic, accidents and 15 miles per hour describe this week, and yeah, it’s been raining every day for a week now, but why does rain make the freeway traffic STOP?!
OK, now you can tell me about bagels and pizza.
Or do you guys not do the bus thing in LA? When I come there I was expecting to just use public transport and cabs, but it doesn’t seem to be the done thing.
This post has 0 comments